w00t! nearly a month since contact!

goings on in monkieworld:

– i have decided to live a whole month according to spam. so far i have a 50ft penis, an FF breast, a constant boner, time shares in over 20 countries, a new neck, shares in parkinsons mane and a mousemat that emits an electric shock when you look at pictares of lyle lovett.

– i’ve bought a struggling football club from a unnamed russian. all i can tell you is their kit is one of the blue colours.

– i kicked bronson out of the house. i could take the taunts and spitting, but when he started singing kylie at me i had to kick him in the face out the door.

– i’ve decided payed for womens are of better value than the free ones. and i can get them in value packs from dave on the black todge so i’m quids in.

– lionel isn’t doing to well, he got another potato infection and his ears are drooping in the sun. TEH LITTLE FUCKER STILL KEEPS ON DANCING THOUGH!

– i have been informed by numerous persons that apparently life will go on after me. i don’t believe this but just in case i’m going to make sure this can never happen. i’ve started collecting rolls of caps and space candy and i’m going to rig it so when i die the lot will go off. so it’s in everybodies interest to keep me alive!

Current Mood: anorixic denial
Current Music: snuff box themes