things i hate

• men in suits eating crisps
• people who don’t “twist to fit” when passing you on narrow pavements
• women in suits eating crisps
• couples that walk beside each other on narrow pavements when i’m trying to pass
• adults eating crisps
• brian blessed
• the beatles (except harrison and ringo)
• the lack of plug sockets meaning i can have either music or graphics tablet (NOT BOTH!)
• Sharon Gless – just cos you’re not fat doesn’t mean your any good
• the fact that i can hate more stuff than i can love
• peanuts, bland salty badness in pill form
• 32-bit
• anything bad costs monies
• the name “charles”, no charles has ever done no good
• my monitor is small
• moomins scaring me
• sebastian coe, recently i am beginning to think that anyone name sebastian has a wicked motive
• mr fbox’s low power HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WATCH ANIMES IF YOUR PUNNY PROCESSOR CANNOT KEEP UP MR FBOX
• thinking of more things that you hate than wot you loev because you thought you’d have more things you would hate so wrote it down and now hace to follow your destiny
• hearing a great track in your 5,000,000GB of mp3s then not remembaring it’s name
• the fact that i can write this shit and someone will read it

things i love

• monkeys in suits eating crisps
• the beatles (except lemon and mcarthy)
• the name “jackie gleason”, i wonder if he had a gleeful son
• Tyne Daly – she always looks like she’s seen something shocking
• the fact that i hate more stuff than i love
• peanuts (the snoopy & charlie brown variety) i keep watching waiting for charlie to go all colombine on thier asses.
• nude women behind peanuts, cos it means all the peanuts are dead
• 8-bit
• anything good is free
• my monitor is flat
• moomins coming to my room at night and telling me it’s okay
• brian blessed, thank you for the present brian
• things my nan used to say which were both offensive and hilarious
• XBMC is coming to lunix one day
• memories that suprise you cos you never thought you’d look back at that fondly
• hearing that great track you lost in 6,000,000,000GB of mp3s come up in shuffle
• the fact that i can write this shit and someone will read it

Well it’s finally over, the latest of the shit years is coming to a close as we welcome next piece of crap into our lives.

Things i’ll miss from 2005:

-space hoppers
-only fools and horses
-jimmy carr
-jimmy carson
-alan carr
-‘2005’ looks kind of cool, like ‘2001’ did, but 2001 was shit because everything was still being made in the colour silver.

Things i won’t miss:

-beetlejuice
-strawberry shortcake
-andy peters (is a cunt)
-people shouting ‘WASSUP’
-the intarweb
-barry bethal, okay mate we get the point, you don’t wobble anymore, now get back to your tinning job.

Things that will be grate about 2006:

-stephen hawking jumping over the great wall of china
-nintendo space machine
-tony hawks the comedian jumping over the great wall of china
-nintendo pocket watch famicom edition
-ricky gervais jumping over the great wall of china

Things that will be shit about 2006:

-the demolition of the great wall of china
-quincy
-all versions of windows, they’ll find the other 1% of unused cpu time and use it!
-all versions of lunix, they’ll be un-user friendly and not live up to their potential
-all apple products and software, they are white! and shit!
-evil ken-evil not jumping over the great wall of china
-pocky market crash
-all sony products, if there’s any karma in the world they will go bankrupt.

Finally i’d like to thank all my friends that i don’t have. thanks for not being there. thanks for not helping me in my year of need. thanks for borrowing my lawnmower and fucking my wife on it. thanks for selling me pirate dvd’s which are supposed to feature tom hanks but actually feature tom arnold. that reminds me, thanks to all the fat crazy bitches of the world for not fucking me like you’re supposed to. thanks to branston for your pickles. thanks to all the gay. thanks to mumma, why did you leave me on the bench and let the hospital name me. thanks to jimmy saville. thanks to ‘british telecom’, ‘teh bbC’ and ‘the post office’ for giving me something to complain about. thanks to nathan barley, totally jackson. thanks to lucas, you shit. thanks to jools holland for his lack of depth. thanks to my penis for staying clean and keeping it’s shine.

BUT MOST OF ALL THANKS TO YOU FOR PLAYING!

see you in the space year 2006!

Current Mood: is bad for the music
Current Music: is good for the mood