I was cleaning out my closet the other day and underneath my magnum P.I annuals i found a real gem and i just thought i’d share it for all you SEGA fans. Here’s the backstory; i used to work as a freelance musician back in the early nineties and did a lot of work for SEGA (most of their classics actually originated from my bontempi 1000, but that’s another story, suffice to say the little blue thing would sound very different if it wasn’t for me.)

SEGA were torn between releasing ‘Streets of Rage’ on the MegaDrive (‘genesis’ to the fatties.) or the Mega-CD (‘Sega CD’ to the fatties.) attachment. The asked me to come up with some lyrics in case they went with the latter option and could have full CD quality music tracks. In the end they went for the first option, despite my outrage (it’s well known CD games are 142% better than cartilage ones), so the CD tracks were binned.

The game was actually later released on Mega-CD and you can access my tracks by pressing A,B,A,X,X,Y,C,A,B,C,D,START,MODE,A,A,A,A,A,A,B,B,B,,B,B,B,V,Z,X,B,O,O,B,I,E,S,A,B,C at the end of the game when you complete it on hard mode without getting hit.

The lyric section here came in an extended version of the opening tune which i originally collaborated with enya on, but she stank of fags so i fired her ass.

So here are the lyrics, enjoy:

there’s gonna be a fight, tonight, oh yeah.
‘cos something happened, i don’t know, but it was bad.
i think axel’s sister was kidnapped, or something, i can’t remember.
but it’s not important, ‘cos the fighting and the music are the main bit, oh yes.

these guys and a gal, are gonna take on the impossible, that’s right.
with the help of the police, but only once, per level.
i think they’re lazy, or something or it’s eswat, low on batteries.
but just listen to that music, it’s like the prodigy or shamen.. “move any mountain!”.

and characters will change, at the drop of a hat,
who will be picked? the white or the black?
or will you go for the girl, and pause it.. on her nickerflash!
CUM IN YOUR PANTS!

on these streets of rage, there’s a litter problem.
so pick up the trash; the cans and the chiknen.
and we’ll make this land, a thug free land,
no more hookers and fruity weirdos! oh no!

on these streets of rage, there’s no room to be gay,
unless you’re good looking, and pure, or a token black man.
and don’t even bother applying if you can’t take out 100 people
with only three moves! oh yeah!

charlie says! move any mountain!
e’s a geezer! everybody in the place!
twisted firestarter! got any rizlas!
move any mountain! one love!

bop-per-ching-bom-bir-rak-ta-tak-te-tak-ta-ta-ta
bop-per-ching-bom-bir-rak-ta-tak-te-tak-ta-ta-ta
bop-per-ching-bom-bir-rak-ta-tak-te-tak-ta-ta-ta
bop-per-ching-bom-bir-rak-ta-tak-te-tak-ta-ta-ta
bop-per-ching-bom-bir-rak-ta-tak-te-tak-ta-ta-ta
bop-per-ching-bom-bir-rak-ta-tak-te-tak-ta-ta-ta
(fade out)