videogames are great, especially EA games, they scream ‘quality product-buy me!-happy time!-long fun!’ but if bill gates or richard branson don’t come up with a new game soon we will have another crash liek in the 1930s.
so i thought i’d bettar help them out with some new ideas, which they can take on and make into propar gaming travisties:
1) ‘midget’. everybody wants to be a midget, think of all the benefits. in ‘midget’ you live out the daily life of a midget in chipping sudbury. as you walk down the street you must avoid swinging planks, make sure cars can see you, walk on small walls and collect fruit.
I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS GAME HAS NOT BEEN MADE!!!1111
2) ‘kenneth williams’. everybody loevs kenneth williams, especially straight people. in ‘kenneth williams’ you play kenneth williams as he would be if he didn’t have the aids. so as king of television kenneth williams would walk around and when prompted by a flashing pictare of barbara windsor you would press a button and make kenneth williams say: ‘ooh i say’. this would continue for 24 levels untill you died. fbox720 users could buy new suits for kenneth williams in the ‘capitalist moneyspinner marketplace’.
I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY THIS GAME HACE NOT BEEN MADE KENNETH WILLIAMS IS VARY HARD TO DRAW.
c) ‘dead cat ball’. no this is not just monkey ball using dead cats instead of monkeys. this is a ‘ball’ as in a fancy dance, with dead cats in plastic balls banging into each other (IT LOOKS LIEK THIER DANCING!) while collecting tins of go-cat (subject to moneyspinning). psthree chavs can also use the controller as a dildo while watching the cats dance.
THIS GAME CAN BE MADE AS SOON AS HALLMARK RELINQUISH THEIR PATENT TO DEAD CATS.
i hope the game giants are reading ‘cos another crash might mean they dissapear and people with talents may take their place. probably jugglers.