i nevar saw no proof. I DEMAND PROOF. i bet he’s alive and frozen with his willie in disney.
Current Mood: old
Current Music: young

the sad thing is i heard that if he stops going “tee-hee-hee” he will die from complications.
Current Mood: young
Current Music: old

did anyone see that episode of e.r. where that guys’ eye falls out of his face. i don’t open my eyes too wide anymore.
Current Mood: collapsed
Current Music: wossy/nesbit

although i think he might be a woman.

he always delivers my envelopes to all the right people in the right order, and only a few have ever been received ‘damp’. i just hope his curiosity is not too much or my ‘special’ deliveries may have to come to an end.
Current Mood: jubbly
Current Music: pinky and perky – death song

=I WILL be drinking beer(probably 5 pints), and at am not likely to be sick…actually i am eating hot chiknen before so i probably will be sick, i haven’t made up my mind yet. update: 5½ pints(i think)/not sick

=I WILL see at least five women who want to have the sex with me, the dirty sluts. my penis is clean and will stay that way.update: it was four, kobain got the other one/my willie is still clean

=I WILL mock the cunts in the place leik i am not one of them. the best pub would only allow me in it.update: i was too busy looking at womens to notice in the end

=I WONT wear a cone on my head. last time a dead rat fell out of it.update: no cone/no rat

=I WONT drink anything gay. except semen, tony says it tastes grate.update: they weren’t serving semen

=I WONT make any sense past 9pm.update: i think i started early with the love beads/piles comment
Current Mood: criminal
Current Music: illigal

we were out at a freddie merrcury moustache appreciation dinner and as i was eating my billy idol shaped sausage, my companion choked on her barry bethal milkshake in slimline glass. i patted her back from my seat and she was fine, but russell grant approached and offered to finish our food for us. before i could decline his offer he’d finished the lot and had started on the next table.

i wish russell grant was around all the time.
Current Mood: orange
Current Music: stiltskin – america

videogames are great, especially EA games, they scream ‘quality product-buy me!-happy time!-long fun!’ but if bill gates or richard branson don’t come up with a new game soon we will have another crash liek in the 1930s.

so i thought i’d bettar help them out with some new ideas, which they can take on and make into propar gaming travisties:

1) ‘midget’. everybody wants to be a midget, think of all the benefits. in ‘midget’ you live out the daily life of a midget in chipping sudbury. as you walk down the street you must avoid swinging planks, make sure cars can see you, walk on small walls and collect fruit.

I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS GAME HAS NOT BEEN MADE!!!1111

2) ‘kenneth williams’. everybody loevs kenneth williams, especially straight people. in ‘kenneth williams’ you play kenneth williams as he would be if he didn’t have the aids. so as king of television kenneth williams would walk around and when prompted by a flashing pictare of barbara windsor you would press a button and make kenneth williams say: ‘ooh i say’. this would continue for 24 levels untill you died. fbox720 users could buy new suits for kenneth williams in the ‘capitalist moneyspinner marketplace’.

I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY THIS GAME HACE NOT BEEN MADE KENNETH WILLIAMS IS VARY HARD TO DRAW.

c) ‘dead cat ball’. no this is not just monkey ball using dead cats instead of monkeys. this is a ‘ball’ as in a fancy dance, with dead cats in plastic balls banging into each other (IT LOOKS LIEK THIER DANCING!) while collecting tins of go-cat (subject to moneyspinning). psthree chavs can also use the controller as a dildo while watching the cats dance.

THIS GAME CAN BE MADE AS SOON AS HALLMARK RELINQUISH THEIR PATENT TO DEAD CATS.

i hope the game giants are reading ‘cos another crash might mean they dissapear and people with talents may take their place. probably jugglers.

www.commando-destruction.com

alt.digitiser.snakes

he really is a grate guy. i would be happy to lend him my children if he needed them, if i wasn’t barren.
www.commando-destruction.com

alt.digitiser.snakes

hello, i am monkie and welcome to my world. don’t be scared, my world is friendly with nice smiley people liek jeff capes and ronald mcdonald. just don’t piss off beadle, he may have a gammy hand but that boy can sure bite!

monkie world has rules:

1) remove your shoes.

2) remove your pants.

c) put them back on again.

once you have done this lionel blair will take your details and look you up and down and smile at you in a creepy way, then point towards the main entrance.

once in monkie world please look after monkie world. pick up litter, use the shitter and most of all HAVE A GOOD TITTER!!!111

www.commando-destruction.com

alt.digitiser.snakes
Current Mood: sexual
Current Music: home and away

It occured to me that with my harddrive constantly full to bursting with ‘data’, i could survive on that information for at least 5 years without needing any new ‘super-highway piss’.

then it occured to me that 99.99% of what is on my hard drive (and all the hard drives i own) is pure tat i never look at because it’s not new….exept for the pR0n….no no, that’s tat as well (and no use to me at all for the duration of my current experiment).

the internet is a gaping monolith of useless crap and misinformation, and i fucking loev it! (it’s killing me, please help i am a mongolian hairdresser and i’m trapped in a cage in brighton.)